Happy Valentine’s Day!
I love this Hallmark holiday. I celebrate love and share love anytime I can. So, a holiday dedicated to spreading love, makes my heart smile. Some people hate Valentine’s Day because it reminds them they’re single. For the last three years I’ve spent February 14th as a single woman, casually dating, and in a serious relationship. My love life is a real roller coaster ride. This year I’m in a serious relationship, but he lives nearly 1,000 miles away. That’s far. I’m talking no direct flights, far.
Long distance is tough, but here are a few tips to help make it a little less challenging.
Communication is Key:
Communication is important in any relationships whether its friendships or romantic relationships. It’s especially vital in a long distance relationship. It’s so important, I’m calling it the lifeline to the relationship. To be clear, this doesn’t mean talking on the phone excessively. It means making every conversation count.
It’s means being a good listener when you do have those conversations. Listen to your partner’s needs and making necessary adjustments.
It’s about listening and understanding. You have to really be tuned in because you’re not in front of them so you can’t read their body language. So, try to carve out time just for those phone calls. This is an areas where I struggle. It’s super hard for me because we’re on different schedules in different time zones.
I’m always working even when I’m off work. I can become easily distracted, but I have to put in the work to make it happen.
Some suggest carving out set schedules for phone calls to make sure you’re not distracted and you can give your mate the attention needed. It’s not a bad idea, but I’m not fully committed to a phone schedule.
Technology is Your Friend:
Thank God for FaceTime. Sometimes hearing someone’s voice isn’t good enough. You need to see them. I think seeing a person gives you an instant connection and brings you closer.
Use those text messages as often as you can. I’m typically working a multiple fires at work and don’t have time to talk, but I may have a couple seconds to shoot a text message. It’s a brief message to give him an update on my day or send a message that will make you smile or blush.
And then there’s the apps. Sometimes my guy will cashapp me money for lunch or to buy a new dress. It’s always super random and super sweet.
Use all the apps that can help make your LDR smooth and stress free.
Visit as Often as You Can:
This is HUGE for me! I can’t go months and months without seeing my guy. The phone calls are great. The FaceTime and sweet texts are great. But there’s nothing more special than having the person right in front of you.
Last year, we made a point to visit each other once a month. It was a happy balance for me, but not his pockets.
We are flying from one midsize airport to another. He lives in Rochester, NY and I live in Birmingham. It’s expensive. The flights range from $300 to $500. In a year we could have bought a used car with all the money spent on airfare. But the excitement and anticipation to see him was worth it.
This year we have slowed down in an effort to save money. I’m not happy about it,but that’s the reality we are dealing with right now.
Make Every Visit Count:
When you finally get together, make it count. Have so much fun together that when you’re apart you can reflect on those memories and good times to help you when you’re missing each other.
Also, plan a few things to do together when you see each other. I look at it like it’s date night every night we’re together when we’re finally in each other ‘s arms. Let’s face it, weekly day night isn’t our thing. This is the next best thing
My guy does a good job of finding things for us to do. We’ve enjoyed wine tasting, concerts (tons of concerts, and plays. We’ve had plenty of Netflix nights as well.
What’s the End Goal:
So we’re in a long distance relationship for what and how long, again? These are questions I often pose because I want to know what’s the plan for this relationship and what’s our end goal.
Long distance relationships aren’t the wait and see or the lets see where this is going type of relationships. You enter into these knowing the plan and the goal that could bring you to the same city.
Again, our case makes this end goal dream a little tougher to become reality. I’m TV Journalist and I’ve already moved four times in 10 years. I have no idea where I’m going to put down roots. So, I don’t know where I’m going to be, which makes it difficult to determine our end destination. We do know, long distance isn’t forever.
I hope these tips help, ultimately these are all suggestions and you have to do what feels right in your relationship.